Grieving the Loss of Innocence

Grieving the loss of Innocence and a sense of security due to experiencing abuse, assault, or trauma is very real and painful. You have a deep sorrow for what was lost, whether it be your childhood, purity, naivety, or trust. You feel as though a part of you has been irreparably changed or taken away.  Well, I'm here to tell you that the "irreparable" part is a "lie". Before I give you good news, let's expose more of the feelings you may have so we make sure all is covered in the prayer I'll pray over you and you can continue to pray over yourself from this day forward.

How It Made Grandma Feel

When I was abused, I had an internalized blame for the circumstances surrounding the loss of innocence, even though it was beyond my control. I felt "tainted" or "broken" due to societal and self-imposed judgments.  For instance, I was a child prodigy when it came to playing and singing in public and I was invited to do so at many venues during my childhood.  But when this "thing" happened, I carried it privately for years before ever telling my parents because I just knew they would never allow me to sing in public again due to my "uncleanness".  I believed the lie that I was unclean.

I know others whose guilt and shame led them to self-loathing.  I was more frustrated over perceived helplessness.  I was angry inwardly but my anger was directed toward the perpetrators, enablers or society, in general.

Do you feel confusion, struggling to reconcile the loss of innocence with your own current identity and worldview?  I had so many questions about how and why this happened, and especially what it meant for my future. I could barely trust anyone, particularly in intimate or vulnerable situations.  I lived with a sense of betrayal, especially because someone close and supposedly trustworthy was involved in my loss.

Everything Changed

I felt numb and detached.  My defense mechanism was keen at avoiding feeling the full weight of the pain.  I lived with a sense of disconnection from myself, others, and the world.  BUT one day, everything changed.

I had an encounter with Jesus, who didn't condemn me.  It was as if He really knew WHAT happened and the WHY.  I felt a calm and peace come over me.  My prior worry and self-preservation about being judged, rejected, or misunderstood somehow didn't seem important anymore.  And my fear of further harm and exploitation left me - in His Presence.

I longed for more time with Jesus.  It was the first time I remembered feeling hope again.  I yearned to spend more time with Him because of the peace and safety and wholeness I felt with Him. My search for ways to be healed and rebuild my life were over.  I found Jesus, my Healer and the Builder of my life.

Somehow I knew the battle raging deep inside me was over. He didn't judge me.  I felt an encompassing love from Him! I searched for ways to learn how to be with Him more.

Grandma Prays For You

Let me pray for you!

Father God, You are the Almighty! I acknowledge Your greatness and my frail humanity. Yet You call me "Friend".  I ask You to "Father me" in this prayer that I may say the words from Your Heart to these suffering from the grief of losing their innocence and their sense of security. 

Jesus, You are my Savior and I know You desire to be Savior to these suffering, too.  It's why You died for them and me. Disciple me, Lord, through this prayer, so I speak only Your words concerning them today.

Holy Spirit, You are our Comforter and the very essence of our immediate "hope restored" in our lives. Let Your peace permeate, fill the very rooms of these reading or listening today.  Let the Wind of Your Spirit rush into their lives right now.  Make Yourself known to them in this very moment.

He is here with us!  If you have never invited Jesus into your heart,  ASK HIM to come be your Savior, Master, Lord and King today! ASK HIM to forgive you of all your sins! (Even though we were victims in the loss of innocence, we still have other sins we've committed.) In order to truly be saved, by faith, tell Him you believe He died and rose again the third day. His resurrection is proof He has the power over sin and darkness to heal us!  Now ask Him to make you "whole" again!

Lord, I ask You, to restore their hope and joy for living.  Open their ears to hear You clearly speak to them.  Open their eyes to recognize You when You are working in a situation on their behalf.

Now, Lord, I ask You to restore their innocence and their sense of security. Heal them completely and thoroughly of anything and everything that was not from heaven.  Let there be no doubt of Your goodness toward them. I pray a hedge of protection about them so they are free to pursue You in every way You direct them to do so.  

Now, Lord, together, we "thank You" for saving, healing and restoring _______'s life today!

How Do I Know I'm Healed

The way you know you've been healed is that you remember what happened to you but without the devastating and debilitating emotions tied to them.  You can tell your story without the anger, shame, and guilt. You are free to live life in freedom for Jesus!

What Next?

Write me and tell me what happened in your life today!

Click the picture below to go the "Ask Grandma" page but know, you can tell me instead of ask me on this page, too!