Why Would She Want To Be A Grandma To Me?
I was helpless and hopeless; emotions out of control. BUT GOD!
I was a victim of rape. A part of me died inside. I've known debilitating shame. BUT GOD!
I am a woman of small stature, light coloring and soft spoken. BUT GOD!
I've given birth to four sons. One son died at age three. One is a minister in the marketplace. One is a musician. One was a military man. I think of them as my 3 M & M s.
As a mother in the daily routine of raising children, I have been overwhelmed. BUT GOD!
I've been divorced with custody battles. The intimidation of standing before a judge in court killed something on the inside of me. BUT GOD!
I've made many mistakes. I've felt guilt and regret. BUT GOD!
I wanted to change but I didn't know how. BUT GOD!
I am a widow. Another part of me died within. I have been lonely and lost when making decisions! BUT GOD!
I am a step-mother, remarried into a blended family. In the beginning, there were moments of rejection, exhaustion and defeat that killed me on the inside. BUT GOD!
I am a grandmother of 18 children ranging from 1 year to 17 years old, one grandson died in his mother's arms within two hours after birth. Another bit of my heart died that day, too! BUT GOD!
I am a minister. I have been frustrated. BUT GOD!
"BUT GOD" Explanation
Just what does "BUT GOD" mean in all these statements?
I'm here only because every single time I cried out to God, He was right there with me. He was for me, even during my mistakes. He helped me in ways I never could've imagined except He and I know I would not have made it if He hadn't been there with His Presence, power, love and creative agenda to rescue me.
I didn't think of myself as a "grandmother" until I met some incredible young adults from 19-35 years old who lovingly looked at me and called me "grandma" during a performing artist event we all attended one year. I didn't think I had anything special to say that anyone would care to hear. I was used to being quiet in my world of ongoing conversations with God.
Now, I have a burning inward sensation to reach out to those whose loved one(s) died and now they are buried in paralyzing grief. God wants more for you than the "dead" weight you carry on the inside. I hear you crying out to God in your existence, wondering if He's there and when He will help you out of this lifestyle of death you no longer want. One "BUT GOD" moment will change your life forever.
GOD has heard your prayers. I'm here answering His Call for me to help you. I can help you connect to God and the new life you long for in Him!
John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.